I read an interesting article today posted in the divorce section of the Huffington Post. The author posted an explanation of the 6 most important lessons learned from a divorce. The author is not listed as male or female so the perspective seems to be mostly gender neutral. The 6 lessons learned from a bad marriage shared by the author in summary were as follows:
1. Sacrifice
The author explains sacrificing for the benefit of children is a real principle you must learn, if you haven’t already done so, through the divorce process. Also, in this case the author explains he/she sacrificed going to trial to settle on something and take the risk out of the equation. This may not always be a good idea, but often individuals involved in a divorce sacrifice their wants in the interest of settling so they and their children can move on.
2. Acceptance
Accepting your decisions and accepting compromise was a key principle learned by the author. Acceptance is often a difficult step after a divorce so being able to reach this point early can have great benefits and bring you peace.
3. Tolerance
This can be a very difficult lesson. Being tolerant of your former spouse takes a real mature approach to the post divorce life. You also have to know your own limits and let your ex know what you will tolerate and what you will not.
4. Patience
A huge principle following divorce. Learning to be patient with your ex, your children, and your situation will bring great peace. Patience with your ex means understanding they also are learning how to be in the post divorce world and they are imperfect. Patience with your children because divorce can often bring new challenges with child behaviors and needs. And patience with your situation understanding things will eventually start to feel normal and good again.
5. Humility
Who is right is not as important as what is right. Humility alone can lead to a more amicable situation with your ex. When you have children together you need to be able to admit when your wrong and do what is in the children’s best interests.
6. Self Love
Many individuals going through a divorce get an incredibly low self of esteem. Make sure you take time to focus on what makes you happy and what brings you fulfillment in life. Divorce can lead to new opportunities and a stronger self worth.
